If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
