Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
