i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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