The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
