I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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