I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
