So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Randomize
