its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
