He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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