Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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