He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
