didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
