I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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