Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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