hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
