He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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