Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize