I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish i was in the wii world.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
