I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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