So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
