No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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