A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
