Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
