is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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