Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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