I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
