I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
