I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
