I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
