found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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