I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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