I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
