yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you never un-have a 4some
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
