the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
now i know why i became what i already was.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
