Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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