A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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