Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
