Don't make out with my wife yet
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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