You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize