I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
