If that was your dad, he is hot
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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