I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
