so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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