Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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