Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
this hospital has no fireball
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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