Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
