Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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