Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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