remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
