so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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