I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
