Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The air was thick with penises
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
