it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
