We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
