a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
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There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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