when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
