What did we do last night that was yellow?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
