i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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