i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
