I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
