Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
